A summary of the Bible in two minutes or less

Since we’re studying God this year, it seems fitting to go back to the beginning. But why stop there; here’s a quick and contracted summary of the whole Bible that I found online a while back. I don’t know who made the original post, but it’s too good not to share…

GENESIS:

God: All right you two, don’t do the one thing. Other than that, have fun.
Adam & Eve: Okay.
Satan: You should do the thing.
Adam & Eve: Okay.
God: What happened!?
Adam & Eve: We did the thing.
God: Guys…

THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT:

God: You are My people so you should not do the things.
People: We won’t do the things.
God: Good.
People: We did the things.
God: Guys…

THE GOSPELS:

Jesus: I am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, I still love you. Don’t do the things anymore.
People: We’ve never seen him do the things, but he probably does the things when no one is looking.
Jesus: I have never done the things.
People: We’re going to put you on trial for doing the things.
Pilate: Did you do the things?
Jesus: No.
Pilate: He didn’t do the things.
People: Kill Him anyway.
Pilate: Okay.

PAUL’S LETTERS:

People: We did the things.
Paul: Jesus still loves you, and because you love Him, you have to stop doing the things.
People: Okay.

PAUL’S LETTERS PART II:

People: We did the things again.
Paul: Guys…

REVELATION:

John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the things. In the meantime, stop doing the things.