We had a great LIFEGroup discussion last night on the wrath of God. If you’re a North Heights member, I’m sure your discussion was great as well, but I wouldn’t trade Casey Newcomer for any other discussion leader. What a calm, insightful presence he is; a natural. If you’re not in a LIFEGroup you really are missing out and need to get plugged in today!
Our study group spent a fair amount of time talking about the similarities between God/Israel and parent/child, particularly when it comes to wrath/discipline, and especially on the idea of “why” commands must be obeyed.
Has there ever been a child who did not, at least once, hear a command from their parent, and ask “why do I have to?” Has there ever been a parent who has not employed, as the answer, the greatest come-back to that question that has ever been invented: “Because I said so.”
In my experience, the response—while effective—also serves to frustrate the child in question. And when that child becomes a teenager, it’s almost asking for a rebellion in response. I don’t think the statement is a bad one, however. I just think we as parents can do a better job laying the foundation for why it is a good answer to the question.
There is no greater guidebook on parenting than the Bible, in particular the Old Testament.
The relationship between God and Israel is, in a myriad of ways, akin to that of a father and his children. Through God’s dealing with His nation we see the Lord’s patience, benevolence, compassion, sadness, and certainly His anger and retribution all on full display. As you read the Old Testament, take note of the times when God gave a command to Israel that had clear and obvious (immediate) benefit to the ones obeying that command.
There was the command not to gather more manna than was needed for that day’s meal: The consequence for disobeying would be bread that grew worms and became inedible. There was an obvious, immediate, consequence that the people could understand. It gave them an additional reason to obey.
There was the command not to ally themselves with pagan nations around them: The consequence for disobeying would be those godless nations turning on them and invading them, bringing misery and death to the people. There was an obvious, immediate, consequence that the people could understand. It gave them an additional reason to obey.
On the other hand, consider a command that had no immediate consequence: The Israelites were forbidden from eating pork. But what if a Jew bought a spiral ham from a pagan merchant and enjoyed a little feast on random December? Would he get worms in his belly? No. Would some foreign army march through the streets chopping off heads? No. Would he sprout a spiral tail from his backside like Dudley Dursley? No again. So what would happen in the immediate sense? How would breaking that command physically affect that person? It wouldn’t.
The natural question a person may ask is: So why give the command?
That question, however, is asked out of a selfish heart. It’s asked by a person who only cares about how they are affected by disobedience. The proper heart—one that is in love with God—wouldn’t worry about self; it would care only about pleasing God. In other words, sometimes God gives a command for no other reason than for His good pleasure. There may be secondary or tertiary reasons in the mind of God, but we’re not privy to them. All we know is we are commanded to do certain things “because He said so.”
And parents do that too.
Why do you sometimes randomly ask your kids to fetch something for you? Am I the only one who makes his child run from one end of the house to another for a glass of water? Was I the only child who had one of those big honking cabinet TVs that didn’t have a remote so I was the remote being summoned from my room right when I was in the middle of the Tubular Level in Super Mario World just because the channel 7 news was on commercial and my dad wanted to see what was on the channel 4 news even though it’s the same news dad just different people reciting the same four things that ever happened in Arkansas that day!
Sorry, where was I?
Am I the only one who gives their child a command that has no benefit to them but is solely for my own good pleasure? I doubt I am. And when my children ask me why they should, the answer is “because I asked you to.” When a teenager wants to say being punished for disobeying is “unfair” because the command was “meaningless,” the answer should be “it is not meaningless; it is what I want.”
Our children are being taught by their culture to believe there is no hierarchy to a home. They’re being taught by culture to believe parents and children are equal and that if a parent wants to “request” something of a child he must have a good reason or he should expect that request to be challenged. They’re being taught by culture to be selfish, to do only what serves their best interests, and to resist anything else. What has been lost is the respect of inherent parental authority, and a lot of that is the fault of parents for not teaching our children Divine Principles: God is the ultimate parent, and He rightly gives commands sometimes that are solely given because it makes Him happy. He rightly punishes us for disobeying those commands, making it so that the punishment of God is the “only” negative consequence to breaking those commands.
And that should be enough.
It should be enough to be told “if you don’t do it God will punish you.” There should be no saying: “But that’s not fair, why should I have to do this just so that I don’t get punished!” There should be none of that because there shouldn’t be such a focus on self. The focus should be on pleasing God. If it is, then I won’t see my life as a series of things I do to avoid being punished. What a miserable, cynical way to live that would be! Instead, I should see my life as a series of things I do to be well-pleasing to God.
And when that’s the way you live your life, what a happy life you will have. When it’s not—when your focus is on your own selfish wants and needs—then the reality of God’s wrath toward the disobedient becomes a source of frustration, angst, and bitterness. It creates a tug of war when there need not be. Let go of the rope; stop trying to drag God to your side of the line. Humble yourself. Submit. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you (James 4:6-8).
When you do, you’ll never even care about asking “why do I have to”. You’ll do what God commands because making Him happy will be what makes you happy.
And what a happy (content, peaceful) life you’ll have, as a result.
~ Matthew
PS:
Keep in mind, the same “unfair” God who is prepared to punish you for disobeying a seemingly arbitrary command, is the same “unfair” God who sent His Son to die for you so that you could be saved from the punishment He is prepared to give you!
God has two hands: One of forgiveness and one of punishment. Which one you take is up to you, but the only reason you even get a choice is because He gave you one. You want to talk about an unfair God? What’s fair is a sinner being punished. What’s unfair is a sinner being saved. You don’t deserve to be saved. Be thankful you even have the option.
Because He said so.