We hear a lot about the difference between “grace” and “mercy,” and I think most of us know the simple way to distinguish those two things: Grace is when you get something good that you don’t deserve. Mercy is when you don’t get something bad that you do deserve. That’s easy enough to grasp, I think.
But what about the difference between “forgiveness” and “mercy”? Listen to Job…
For what is the hope of the hypocrite, though he hath gained, when God taketh away his soul? Will God hear his cry when trouble cometh upon him?
(Job 27:8-9)
Does God hear the cry of the sinner, begging for mercy, when trouble comes upon him? No. Well, technically, God hears everything there IS to hear because He is Almighty, but Job is using “hear” to describe “listening with an intent to respond.” Does God respond to the cries for mercy after a sinner has been punished? No. Mercy comes before the punishment. Mercy is given when the evildoer repents of his evil before God carries out his punishment against him for it.
If it comes after the punishment, it’s not mercy…it’s forgiveness!
Let’s step away from Job to understand this, because it probably sounds incorrect to you. I’ll say it again: If you make things right with someone before you’re punished by them, that’s mercy. If you make things right with someone after you’re punished by them, that’s not mercy, that’s forgiveness. How can it be mercy? Mercy is about NOT punishing someone. If you’ve already been punished, there can be no mercy, but there can be forgiveness.
“But wait,” you say, “are you saying that forgiveness only comes AFTER punishment?” Yes. That is what I’m saying, and that is what the Bible teaches. Jesus says if your brother wrongs you then you must rebuke him, and if he repents, you must forgive him (Luke 17:3). The rebuke you give is his punishment. It’s too late for mercy because he’s already been rebuked. It is NOT too late for forgiveness, and so when he asks for it, you give it.
You can’t give forgiveness before it is asked for, and we misuse that word whenever we say “he hurt me and he hasn’t said sorry but I forgive him anyway.” If he hasn’t said sorry you CAN’T forgive him. Has God? No, because God doesn’t forgive without repentance, and you’re not greater than He is, so you can’t either. What you CAN be is loving to your enemy and patient with him. You can—and ought—rebuke him for what he did in the hopes that he will repent. If he does, THEN you forgive. And if he comes to you and says sorry before you rebuke him, then you give mercy to him by not rebuking him for the thing he has already said sorry for. If you want to define “give mercy by not rebuking” as “forgiving,” that’s fine. But you can’t actually “forgive” without there first being some punishment carried out.
“But wait,” you say, “what about us and God?” What about the fact that God “forgives” us of our sins even though we haven’t been punished for them? Isn’t salvation an act of mercy AND forgiveness? It is…sort of. Salvation is an act of mercy in that we are not getting the punishment we deserve, but it’s also an act of forgiveness in that Someone DID get the punishment we deserved (it just wasn’t us). The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:24). Who paid that debt? Who died instead of me? Jesus. Jesus TOOK my punishment, and because He did, I can be “forgiven.”
~Matthew